The sentence is the following:
"Have you ever sat on a plane before? I hate airplanes. Every time I decide to stay somewhere it's when the plane is landing."
Some frame: a student decides to study abroad in Finland and she talks with her teacher, who's the one saying the sentence, about the travel (it will be by plane).
This is kind of the idea the sentence gives me: the teacher often travels by plane but he hates to, since every time it happens he can't decide where to take seat (?) and exaggerating, maybe trying to be funny, he says that every time he gets to decide where to seat the plane in landing already. The translation should be short enough to fit two lines of 42 characters at most for each.
Specifically the part giving me hard times is this: "Every time I decide to stay somewhere it's when the plane is landing".
Thanks in advance!