I've come up with "Bella donna, la mia bella donna". The phrase is used in this sense: My beautiful woman, why did you go?
The translation must fit into musical notes in that phrasing: 4 notes, then 7 notes. All advice is warmly appreciated!
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4With all the respect for this site's users, me among them, perhaps a professional En>It translator could help you more than a piecemeal, crowdsourced translation?– DaGCommented Sep 2, 2018 at 20:02
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Every pro I've found specializes in technical, legal, medical, etc. I would happily hire someone who I feel has an artistic/poetic bent rather than a purely business orientation. That's how I ended up here: looking for someone who will find the task interesting, rather than someone who gets paid by the word and is in a hurry.– Ross PlaywrightCommented Sep 2, 2018 at 23:37
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Perhaps with an inversion: “Donna bella, la mia bella donna”.– egreg ♦Commented Sep 5, 2018 at 22:22
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1 Answer
I won't translate it literally; "bella donna, la mia bella donna" is more or less right, but it sounds rather tone-deaf to me.
Since it has to be 4 syllables / 7 syllables, I'd go with
Mio splendore, mia donna rara e bella (my splendor, my rare and beautiful woman)
I'll update this answer as I come up with more possible translations.
